One thing I have discovered is that the older I get, my list of pet peeves grows longer. Things I once tolerated are now fair game for my WTH look. I fear that with each year that passes, my filter will betray me and I will no longer be able to stop my brain from transforming my thoughts into actual words that spew from my mouth without restraint. Perhaps that is the beauty of getting old; you can finally say the things you've always wanted to say but are too polite to say them. Politeness becomes over-rated in the golden years. I suppose we know we only have so much time left to finally rid our souls of the words we've held in all these years so we might as well start letting them go.
The following are some, but not all, of the things that drive me nuts.
People who are habitually late. When people are habitually late, that lateness becomes their "on time". Stop it...please. Don't be late just because you know people know you are always late and that makes it alright because that's just how you are. No, it isn't alright and we don't like it but we like you so we don't say anything...except when we say something in a passive aggressive way and you just laugh and think we are kidding. No. We are not kidding. We do not like your tardiness.
Phone conversations in public. There is a difference between talking on the phone in public and having conversations in public. You should not be discussing your sex life, your bodily functions, your arguments, your appointments with your doctor, your hemorrhoids, or any other extremely private issues while standing in line at Wal Mart. For the love of all that is good, shut the hell up while I am standing less than 4 feet behind you in a line that is moving slower than a sloth. I have talked on my phone in public but it is always quick and casual. Even worse, is somebody talking on a blue-tooth earpiece. You catch their eye and they say something and you walk up to them and say, "excuse me, I didn't hear you" and they don't even say "I'm sorry, I was talking on the phone"; they point at their ear and look at you like YOU just invaded their privacy. Now that is one of those occasions that eventually my filter will fail and I will blurt out some type of obscenity while extending my middle finger. Yep, that will do it.
Using the last of anything and not replacing it. Anything that can be replaced and the replaceable part is there, replace it. It's easy...takes a few seconds and everybody is happy. My co-workers know that this is a pet peeve of mine; I leave notes reminding them. We've all been there; the empty roll of toilet paper staring at us as we are at our most vulnerable times. Oh, and don't get me started about those who get a new roll of toilet paper but are too lazy to actually put it on the roller. For cry'en out loud, you're sitting there, with nothing to do until you are done. Is it too much to ask to just take the 15 seconds it takes to put it on the roller? And make sure you put it on so the paper falls over the roll, not under. I will also change this in anybody's house if it is put on wrong.
Sweeping while I eat. There is nothing more rude than eating out and somebody starts sweeping the floor or carpet beside where you are eating. Disgusting actually. I have, more than once, asked them not to sweep until I leave. Most of the time I can see them coming and I'll give them the look while shaking my head "no" and they will scurry away. Should they not be sensitive to my body language, I will politely ask them not to sweep until I am done. Should they ignore both clues, I will eat free that night and get a gift card for my next meal. As I get older, I am sure that my subtle body language and politeness will give way to blunt honesty. I almost can't wait until I can get away with that.
Phone solicitors. I really don't care what cause or item they are trying to sell; they are annoying and disrespectful and I have no use for them what-so-ever. There was a time when we could have some fun with phone solicitors. There was a time when they could not hang up, no matter what, unless we hung up first. Those were the times when you could ask them to hold on for a second, put the phone down, go watch a movie and come back to find them still there. There was a time when I asked one if he liked the music by The Eagles and he said "Yes". I asked him to hold on and I proceeded to play the Greatest Hits album. Good times! But now, they aren't any fun. Now they ro-bo dial or even worse, they ro-bo dial and then the solicitor is a recording. Those are the worse. The worst of the worse are the ro-bo dialed, recordings that tell you to call them back because they "really want to talk to you". Yeah, I'll do that right after I fly to Paris for brunch, you morons.
Nose secretions. I have had babies. I can deal with poop, puke, pee and blood. I cannot deal with any form of snot or the conjuring up of said snot and that disgusting noise people make when they are trying to conjure up that snot. As I type this my gag reflex is in full mode. I will come completely undone if somebody blows their nose anywhere within ear-shot of me. If, by some unseen demonic force, I am standing within eyesight and said person blows said nose and then opens the tissue to view the prize, I will, without any ability to control it, projectile vomit. The same response will follow if I hear somebody conjure up a luggie and then spit it out. All you tobacco chewing, dip dipping people, please be respectful of all those who have a low threshold for anything spit or snot related. If you spit into a bottle, please cover that bottle so the spit can't be seen or (gag) mistake it for the actual cola drink they might be drinking at the time. Do not spit into cups that can get tipped over. Do not spit on sidewalks. Do not discard your used cud of tobacco on the sidewalk or sink or anywhere I might happen to come across it.
----------------------------
I could go on but I think you get the point. We all have those things that get under our skin and make us want to run screaming into the night, pulling our hair out. We learn to tolerate most things but we all have those one or two things that we cannot ignore no matter how hard we try. Then we get old...really old and we get to throw away our filters and just blissfully spill our thoughts out of our mouth to make up for all the times we were too polite to say anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment