Ya Don't Say!

me in public

I must admit; I not only listen to other peoples' conversations in public spaces, I actively seek them out.  It is my human curiosity that drives me to discover how people communicate with each other.  Whether they are face-to-face conversations or over the phone, if you are in public space, your "private" conversation is fair game for an extra set of ears.  

After all these years one would think I would not be shocked with what I hear in public but amazingly, I can still be taken a-back with how people talk and what they say.  The unfortunate truth that I have discovered is that it is more common for people to talk negatively to or about each other and very rare to hear positive, loving conversations.  I have actually followed [stalked] couples around stores, as they argue, to witness how far and long they will continue to argue in public.  Almost always these arguments are over stupid, unimportant things such as size of detergent they purchase, what to have for dinner that night, and various other insignificant reasons to argue.  Certainly, the root of the issue is not detergent or dinner; those things are just the salt that reopens the wounds that have yet to be healed.  

Is it wrong for me to listen in on these conversations in public spaces?  Maybe it is a rude but I don't think it is wrong.  I am not a mind-your-own-business kind of person.  The problem with convo-stalking for a person like me is keeping my mouth shut.  The lines are a bit blurred when it comes to listening in but stepping in on private discussions is crossing the lines unless.....................yeah, there is always that "unless".  I have said something when somebody has called somebody else a name that is degrading or racist; especially if children are involved.  I have said something when it looked like the argument might escalate into something physical.  I have said something when young children are watching as the argument continues.  I don't stop and join the conversation; I just drop quick bombs of simple advice as I walk on by.  "Your kids are watching", "Is it worth all this?", "Forgiving is easy"; simple things to remind them they are in public and to cut it the hell out.

All the conversations are not negative.  I have heard enough loving, funny, and easy-going conversations to let me know there is still hope for the Human race.  It is always nice to hear couples truly interacting with each other in happy and positive ways; especially when their children watch.  Which brings me to the point of all this: How you behave, how you interact, how you handle this world is how your children or other children will do the same.  They learn from what they hear and see.  Teaching your children how to have positive interactions with others is likely the most important lesson you can give them.  Making it in this world hinges on how we can interact with other humans.  We can no longer just exist together; we must be able to co-exist happily or, at the very least, be able to reconcile our differences in positive and mature fashion.

Hill? What Hill?

I've always thought of my parents as old.  Not geriatric old, but old. By the time I was born, they were both in their 30's; that's old for a very young child.  I recently realized that I am now older than they were when I thought they were over-the-hill.  How in the heck did I get over-the-hill and will somebody please tell me where this "hill" is because I really don't remember going over it.  I really do not believe I can be over-the-hill because that sounds like it requires exercise; something I have been opposed to for most of my life.  

I am not one to dwell on my age; in fact, I stopped keeping track long ago.  So much so, I have to do the math whenever I have to state my age.  However, a few years back, I did start noticing the lines on my face.  I invested large sums of money on products that promised to erase fine lines, ie, wrinkles.  I soon realized those products are targeted toward women in their late 20's and early 30's when the lines are actually "fine" and not, as I have, deep-set road maps etching across my face in every direction.  One day I looked in the mirror and wondered, "how did I get that scar.  Come to find out, it is one of those not-so-fine lines.  I soon gave up trying to conceal them and simply embraced the lines on my face that are, actually, a perfect road map of my life thus far.

Vanity can be a slippery slope.  Social expectations tend to define our natural aging process as something negative.  Women attempt to fall for these misguided stereotypes and begin to believe they must look younger, thinner, and more socially acceptable if they are to make it in this dog-eat-dog world.  I call BS and I am living proof.

I got my undergraduate degree late in my 40's and completed my Master's in my early 50's.  As I began searching for an entry-level position, my competition for those jobs was half my age and able to give a life-time to the company that hired them.  I, on the other hand, only have 15-20 years left; maybe more if my brain holds up. I had to be creative and honest, all at the same time.  I had to show them that hiring me is a good gamble.  I used my maturity, wisdom, and determination as the foundation of my argument as to why they should hire me over a 25-year-old.  It paid off and I landed the most amazing job helping many, many individuals in their most desperate times of need.  I was promoted after my first year; demoted in my second year, and now I am perfectly content giving my full attention to the patients whom seek our help.  I have the most amazing co-workers whom have become my dearest and treasured friends.  I cannot imagine working anywhere else and plan to stay for as long as my mind, heart, and bodily functions allow me.

I don't worry about the lines on my face or the love-handles in my mid-section.  I try to maintain a fairly healthy life-style but I don't dwell on the appearance that nature has painted for me.  Sure, I get my hair colored and styled and I dress well but I don't do it because society tells me I should do it; I do it because it makes me feel good about myself.  

Every line on my face is a testament of living a full life.  I am not ashamed and I will not deny what those lines signify.  Many of those lines are from smiling; some are from frowning...all are a wonderful zig-zag portrait of this long, beautiful life.

Hill?  What hill?  I've only just begun the accent; I'm nowhere near over it yet.

 

A Short Introduction

Let's be real; life is one messy, sometimes screwed up, stressful, painful, but mostly beautiful ride that often leaves us grasping for that last thin thread at the end of a short rope.  But we keep getting up and doing it over and over and over again; trying to get it right and achieving that goal at a higher percentage than not.  We are all just infants exploring the world through touch, sight, sound, taste, and smell.  We might have grown up bodies, but in this human race, we are all just babies trying to survive.

For those who don't know me, let me introduce myself.  My name is Debbie.  I am a daughter, sister, mother, and Mimi.  I wear many hats that come in many sizes.  I have lived a full 53 years on this Earth and am a couple months into my 54th.  I am a writer, singer, musician, and poet.  I am educated, intelligent, funny, honest, loyal, confident, and inspirational.  Most importantly, of all those things I am, I am happy.  Why is that most important?  Because I cannot be good at any of those things I mentioned above if I am not truly happy.  

I have learned a lot in my 53 years and two months in this world and it would be a shame to let all that good knowledge go to waste. I intend to use this forum to share my unique perspective on this little thing we call The Human Life.   My goal is simple; to give hope to those whom don't seem to have any, to guide those whom have lost their direction, and to empower those whom feel weak. We all have life; the trick is being able to live it happily no matter what comes at you from out of the blue.